GET THE BEST OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Living authentically is what makes our life joyous and free and flowing. When we live behind a mask it is exhasuting and takes lots of energy and we spend our time pleasing other people rather than being true to ourselves. When we can truly take responsibility for our feelings and be very real about the way we see the world, we can make significant progress in our relationships. While we are growing up, well meaning adults can encourage us to blame other for our feelings. This is because they do not want us to feel pain and suffering.

Unfortunately, those good intentions can have the reverse effect: it can teach children that their genuine feelings are not valid, so they put on a happy face or blame the other person, as they think this is what the parents want. All pain is created by resistance to what is.

If we instead learn to observe and validate all our feelings—even our painful ones—they will flow through our energetic system. This automatically allows us to return to our natural loving state.

All of our feelings are valid: our happiness, sadness, joy and anger; it is when we label them as right or wrong that we disconnect from our natural emotions. We do this because we are in our heads judging ourselves as right or wrong, good or bad.

Our heads become very “noisy” and thenwe cannot hear the wisdom of our hearts, which is responsible for our emotional intelligence that guides us safely through life.

The journey to consciousness starts with the self, that is, when we learn to observe what is really going on for us in our body. This can be quite different from our head, which is often driven by our ego; that part of us can tell us that we need to be better, we are not good enough, or others are not good enough.

The wisdom of our heart is loving, and would not judge or push us or anyone else in this way. The heart accepts, understands, is full of compassion and inspires, rather than drive a person forward.

When we look at our inner world, initially some of the emotions can feel uncomfortable, but with practice and time, we learn to master and observe them so we feel in control of our lives. However, from personal experiences and witnessing many others, it is one of the most life- changing and rewarding journeys you will ever go on.

Creating conscious relationships gives you the opportunity to share this journey with your partner. I think this is a gift that has been divinely orchestrated on our journey to wholeness.

My husband and I met when we were 24 and both very unconscious of our inner world. I was unaware of my thoughts and feelings moment to moment, and the influence they had on my behaviour, as well as the resulting effect on our relationship. 

For the first few years we were together, it was as though the whole world sparkled!! We adored being in each other’s presence. However, after a few years, our unconscious patterns of behaviour surfaced, giving us many opportunities for growth and expansion.

“Life” was urging us to become more conscious and aware if our relationship was to survive; my husband and I were being given a wake-up call!

When things are not going well, we tend to think, “everything happens for a reason” or that “what is meant to be will be,” and while these widely held beliefs may have their place, sometimes they aren’t so helpful. When things are not going well, or our dreams are not coming true, it is up to us to take action; if we want to have a better relationship it is up to us.

Statistics say that 65% of the couples surveyed broke up during a 40-year period. If people really cannot work through their differences, perhaps it is better for them to end the relationship. However, many of these marriages could be saved if people were aware of and able to do things in a different way and step into their empowered selves. This occurs when we go beyond being a victim, a persecutor or a rescuer, and allow our innate radiance to shine.

To do this, we must take action, as action equals results. We are all powerful creators, able to create our own reality, when we know how! If we are not proactive, rather than creating the lives that we want, we can end up living the life that other people want us to at our expense.

This is probably more predominant with females when the males who are seen as the leaders of the family. Rather than women openly sharing their intuitive gifts and divine wisdom in their relationships, they can, instead, end up reacting to external events. This can lead to them dealing with the consequences of what their partner chooses, which may not be in their best interests.

It is possible for both men and women to coexist in romantic relationships in a way that serves them both: where both their needs are met in a sharing and caring way. Relationships can be balanced, allowing men and women to tap into the power of being male or female, while living fully empowered and fulfilling lives together.