TRANSFORMING FEAR TO LOVE

Every morning my husband David and I go swimming at the beach in Sydney, Australia. He dives in and I trail along behind him for protection as I am afraid sharks may be lurking beneath the water.

This fear was recently fueled by a neighbor, who while kayaking, spotted a three meter shark. Usually fearless about sharks he admitted that even he “was petrified.” Upon further questioning, he assured me the shark was way out past “our” swimming area (where he has been swimming for 30 years) and that we were perfectly safe.

Online research revealed, that the chance of being eaten by a shark is one to 11.5 million, which makes it less likely than being hit by lightning or being eaten by a crocodile! However, we often hold onto fear that is disproportionate to the event because it makes us feel safe.

This type of fear is created  by conditioning and can be an automatic response. Fear can manifest in cultures or be passed down from generation to generation by well meaning people, who may have also been conditioned by fear. Fear distorts how we see the world. Reality is only love, everything else is an illusion.

Learning to observe our inner world is the key to transforming fear into love. Here are a few steps to help you transcend beyond fear when you feel it creeping up on you.

1. Observe any anxiety or tension in the body created by the fear. Any feelings that take us away from our natural state of peace are a sign that there is room for us to grow and expand into our natural loving state – ultimately to create bliss every day!
2. Ask yourself “What am I thinking right now and what thoughts are driving this feeling? Thoughts and feelings are exactly the same thing. A feeling occurs as a result of a thought – generally repeated thoughts – that then help form our beliefs. If you think over and over “I love my life” it is likely to be accompanied by a warm feeling of happiness in your body. Alternatively, if you repeatedly think, “my life is difficult,” you will probably feel sad and unhappy.
3. If your thoughts are unclear, relax by focussing on your breath, take a bath or a walk in nature. If you’re feeling emotionally charged, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and it’s more difficult to observe your thoughts. Relaxing assists you to create the internal space that allows you to observe the thoughts that are creating the feeling. This may take minutes or even hours, however, there is no need to try to make things happen. The thoughts will naturally come to the surface (become conscious) if you relax, go about your day and give your body time to process the feelings.
4. Challenge the thoughts. Once the dominant thought pattern or belief is obvious, ask yourself: “Are these thoughts really true, or are they just thoughts?” Imagine what your life would look like without the thoughts (or belief). Generally when we have thoughts that are not supporting us, it is reflected by uncomfortable feelings such as anger, sadness or guilt, for example. These feelings are our signal to change our thoughts to support us so we feel peaceful again.
5. Create new thoughts that support you in manifesting the life you desire. Consciousness of thoughts or beliefs that create any pain or suffering in your life are a golden opportunity to replace those thoughts with ones that fill your internal world with love, peace and gratitude. For example, when a belief such as: “my life is difficult” is replaced consciously with “my life flows easily and naturally,” you are one step closer to your loving, peaceful state. New loving thoughts can consciously be created to support your dreams and desires. Consciousness equals true empowerment, as it gives you the ability to make choices.

Thoughts are only real if you believe in them. Becoming conscious of your unconscious fearful thoughts, gives you the ability to address them. New loving thoughts can then be consciously created that support your natural loving state – one that is limitless, full and complete.

Message

By learning to observe our internal world in a non-judgemental way,  we can start to transform our fear into love. Observe any anxiety or tension in the body and then breathe into that feeling. This helps to create “space” around the fear. This allows the fear to move and flow freely, helping you to feel more open and loving (the body usually constricts and closes when it is fearful as protection). For example, next time rather than fleeing from the water because I have since created space by observing my fear, I can now CHOOSE my response rather than getting dragged down into the fear. In that space I can ask myself “Is it really a shark or just a fish splashing around (which it was!)? “Do I really need to run right now or can I relax and enjoy my swim?”

In other areas of our lives, instead of automatically reacting in relationships for example, in the space we can ask ourselves: “Is that person really trying to hurt me, or is it just my fear of getting hurt?” When we create space in our inner world, rather than acting from our reactive nature it gives us the opportunity to connect to our ever present divine, loving wisdom which knows exactly what is right for us.

Action

What are your major reactive patterns and how do they make you feel? How can you create more space between your thoughts, to make choices in your life? If you had a choice, rather than reacting, what response would you choose? How would this make you feel and what affect would it have on your relationships?