How we deal with mistakes in our family plays an important role in supporting our child’s self-esteem, and helping it evolve in a positive way. When a mistake is made, does the family culture see it as something the child has done wrong, or is it seen as an opportunity for the child to learn something?
When a mistake is made, is the family culture one of forgiveness and compassion? Mistakes can be a marvellous opportunity to grow our children’s awareness and teach them new possibilities, with love and compassion.
Communication
How does a family communicate? Does it communicate with respect and kindness, or anger and annoyance? Generally, this comes down to the communication skills that the parents have, individually and with each other.
As a parent, if you are struggling to communicate with your partner, or relationships in general, it is worthwhile doing whatever it takes to develop a harmonious loving relationship with each other (for more in-depth knowledge on this, see my book on relationships, Love Now). As I’ve mentioned, children are like “sponges” and they may soak up the dirt from your energized parental conflicts. Not every single little thing, but the overall energy of the family.
Parents that ignore or react badly in conflict can leave lasting negative impacts on children. Children not feeling in control or feeling powerless in relation to their parent being happy, may act out as a sign to the adults. This gives the adults the opportunity to work through unresolved issues and restore peace and harmony within the family unit.
What you do is more important than what you say. It’s probably unrealistic to expect that there will never be any conflict or issues; however, modeling how to resolve these disturbances is an important life skill to teach children.
As with an organisation, the family culture comes from the top down. If we are not in a good place emotionally, it is possible to learn the skills to create a peaceful and harmonious family life going forward.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
~ Albert Einstein
Having a fabulous relationship is just not automatic sometimes. By learning and practicing new skills, you can really make a difference. If you are happy with yourself and your partner, the joy will flow to your and children. Furthermore, by making them apriorityy, you should have no difficulty maintaining strong bonds.
