As your children grow, it is normal that they spend more and more time away from you. During this period of change, until they are old enough to keep themselves safe, it is 100% your responsibility to do so. This duty lasts until their late teenage years when the reasoning centres of their brains are fully developed.
Brain development ends in the early twenties with the frontal lobes, responsible for reasoning and problem-solving. In calm situations, teenagers can rationalize almost as well as adults. However, stress can hijack what Ron Dahl, a paediatrician and child psychiatric researcher at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, calls “hot cognition” and decision-making. The frontal lobes help put the brakes on a desire for thrills and risk-taking—a building block of adolescence; but, they’re also one of the last areas of the brain to develop fully (edinformatics).
Pre-Internet, it was easier to know what exactly was happening in your child’s life. Due to social media, it is much harder to keep track of the goings-on of your children. Prior to mobile phones, all external conversations were made over the family phone. This made it easy to know who was calling and when.
There are many more outside influences on our children than ever before in history. Many of these influences are more concerned about marketing than your child’s well-being. No one cares about your child more than you. Keenly observing the content that your child sees does take a lot of time but your child’s well-being is the reward. I am not talking about reading through every single Facebook message, but generally being aware and interested in what is going on with your child.
Let’s just use the example of good old-fashioned television! It amazes me that during family TV time, around 6–8pm, that television stations feel it is proper to show gruesome dark images. I believe it can be hard for children to have these adult promotions thrust into their path. When this happens, I guard my children by telling them to turn the other way.
With children between the ages of eight and twelve, I’ve noticed that parents began to let go and even allow their children to watch television and movies rated MA (in Australia, this rating is recommended for maturer audiences). Eight- to twelve-year-old children still do not have the brain development and the reasoning skills to determine reality from fantasy. These images can be confusing and frightening to them, causing them to worry and possibly suffer disturbed sleep.
Improper content can upset a child, you should create a safe space so that you can debrief them. This allows you to share your mature perspective and help your child put what is upsetting them in perspective. Tell them that the images are not real and only make-believe; explain the costume department and special effects, and how they create things for movies and TV. This, of course, seems obvious to you, but remember that you are introducing your child to “a whole new world.”
Make sure you know what your child is viewing in terms of TV and movies. Shield them by following age-safe ratings. For example in Australia, a MA+ rating is for children fifteen years and older—not small kids who are not ready to deal with more mature themes. The image of a giant ferocious three-headed dog was far too scary for them to see when they were eight. They didn’t see all the movies until they were mature enough to determine fantasy from reality.
Keeping your child safe is a huge issue in this electronic world! However with good parental awareness, it is possible to help your child navigate this world safely.
