From the beginning, part of our needs is to have our feelings validated, to accept them and allow them to flow through our energy system. The alternative is for our feelings to be repressed (that is, pushed down in our energetic system) when we feel we are not supported in validating them.
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~ Harold Hulbert
The repression of feelings over long periods of time, drains our energy and can lead to disease in later years. Emotional health and well-being requires all of our emotions to flow freely, allowing us to feel strong and vital. When a child’s emotions such as anger or sadness are validated, they feel nurtured emotionally and understood with love and compassion. This more easily enables us is to flow with life, as a full expression of ourselves, with an open, loving heart.
Children generally already have open hearts. Our job as parents is to maintain a child’s open heart, while opening our own, rather than shutting it down in any way. When our feelings are validated by another, including the ones we may find difficult, such as sadness, hurt, anger and disappointment, we learn the important life skill of accepting all our feelings.
When we repeatedly teach our children that only certain feelings such as happiness and joy, the good feelings are appropriate, it becomes part of the child’s conditioning. The child will then repress certain feelings into their unconscious, as they have been taught that these feelings are not acceptable. This will cause them to become increasingly disconnected from how they really feel. This means that they will not be able to cope with “all” feelings in their life, creating a lack of resilience around emotions that they have been taught are not acceptable.
These feelings can start to unconsciously drive a child and, later on, as an adult, causing them to unconsciously act these feelings out as they feel fearful when they feel them, creating disharmony and sometimes hurting those around them. If, instead, they are taught that all feelings are fine and to let them flow, they will develop emotional resilience. Instead of their emotions controlling them, they will be in control of their emotions.
Allowing a child to have their emotions allows them to feel that they are the masters of their inner world, rather than their inner world controlling them. Emotional mastery in this way enhances a child’s confidence and optimism, as they know that they have the ability to handle life’s challenges.
Accepting and validating our children’s feelings is one of the greatest gifts we can give them to support them in remaining connected to their inherent state of love and developing the qualities of wisdom, compassion and self-assuredness.
